Just when I finally got used to the idea of working my way out alone, being happy alone, not being completely dependant on someone when it came to the twisted emotions that live in me.. hope was quiet. Hate lived. Love died. I was cold, inside out.
I loved black-for it represented my past.
I loved red-for this damaged and bloodlusted soul of mine.
I loved white-for every stain on me was so easily visible.
Then you happened. I fell in love with the way you looked at me, spoke to me, touched me without using your hands, left me breathless but still full of life.
I succumbed to addiction: even the pain was pleasure, I was too glad to go be able to go through more, as long as you stayed.
Jo.. my jo *sobs* I still don’t get why you brought in labels. Made me say yes to leave. Still don’t get why you took the chance. Still don’t get why we needed to be in a relationship to be everything.. it broke us. We were working fine. Working fine without romancing in every conversation and working fine without the days we went without talking, the insecurities we stopped mentioning, the hearts that stopped connecting.
I’ll never stop hoping you come back.. I won’t stop looking for you, I definitely eln’t abandon you, ever. Never in a million years will we be anything less than best friends.
A part of me wants to make you fall in love with me again, and never let you go, another, to do the former just to pull myself away. A part of me wants to let you in to see the consequences of your actions, and burn your soul the same way you burned mine, another, to caress you, love you, heal you, and keep you happy.. *cries*
My perfume reminds me of you.
My jacket reminds me of you.
Everyday when the sun sets, I miss you.
Every night I sleep without talking to you, I crave you.
I shiver even inside my razaii..
I.. I love you.
What have you done to me.. you didnt even explain.. leave alone apologise. What did I do to deserve this..I wasn’t this bad of a girlfriend…